This time when she is not with me, I am not sure how I am feeling. Yes, I wanted to know her. As I always want to know a new person. (explanation being that it would help me in understanding myself better). But I knew that in order to proceed to deeper understanding of each other, we need to have some spark between us.
Is your ‘fuse’ too short? You may accept anger as a part of your life, but do you recognize that it serves no utilitarian purpose? Perhaps you’ve justified your short-fuse behavior by saying things like ‘it’s only human’, or ‘if I don’t express it, then I’ll store it up and have an ulcer’. But anger is probably a part of your that you don’t like, and needless to say, neither does anyone else.