“I know what you think and what you do and why you do?” She said to me in her calm and compose tone.
And I was scared, skeptical, suspicious, happy and sad at the same time. If someone claims to know me, it’s a declaration of the end of relation for me. Instead of announcing the end of relation, I smiled.
It was just a thought, definitely not a colored one. Do thoughts really have colors? Does anyone really care about the colors of thought? For me, colors of the thoughts hardly mattered, as long as they are just thoughts with no shades of reality.
Am I really impossible? Or within the shades of these impossibilities lies the beauty of a greater possibility. But is someone really interested to look towards that greater possibility. May be they are quite happy with the superficial life that they hang around ourselves and call it their satisfied life. Aren’t we all scared to take that extra step, dig a little more, push an extra inch to find out what lies ahead?
This time when she is not with me, I am not sure how I am feeling. Yes, I wanted to know her. As I always want to know a new person. (explanation being that it would help me in understanding myself better). But I knew that in order to proceed to deeper understanding of each other, we need to have some spark between us.
I have gone silent again. Last two days I didn’t talk to anyone. Anyway I hardly call anyone so there is no question of someone calling me also. But then I didn’t talk to the shopkeepers or pan walla also. Few days back I was laughing at everything, in all silly jokes and was enjoying the life. But I was aware something was bothering me from inside.
She looked deep into my eyes. She had a lovely smile on her face. I looked back into her eyes and smiled. Time lost all its relevance in that moment. But then within a few seconds, I saw tear developing in her eyes.