She is just normal !!!

largeThe darkness was engulfing me slowly. It was getting really dark all around me. I was slowly losing sight of everything around me. I stretched my eyes in the darkness, I saw her shadow. Yes, she is there.  I wanted to run towards her and touch her. I saw her raising her hand towards me, I wanted to hold her hand.

I tried running towards her. Something happened, something was holding me tight, I could not move. My legs didn’t move. A stronger force was pulling me back. I tried hard, I could not move an inch towards her. I saw her image slowly blurring in the darkness. I made a last attempt of running towards her. I tried hard, I felt pain all over my body. I could feel tears coming out of my eyes. I just wanted to touch her once. Nothing changed. Such a small desire was also crushed by this unknown force without any sign of pity.

And then, it’s all darkness. I know I can’t see her now, I just wish I could …But then wishes of poor souls like me are not granted so easily. However, it was a strange feeling to stay in all darkness. I am not sure whether I actually hate this darkness, but its scary. The very thought that there is no brightness in your life is scary. I knew this darkness will now be all over my mind. All my thoughts will be dark ones now, the dark side of me. After a long time, I was alone, all alone with me and this darkness. There was no need for me to close my eyes and assume myself that everything is fine around me. I didn’t have to pretend anything, no one could see me. I was alone with my eyes wide open. I don’t know whether anyone is nearby or not, and I will never know whether anyone waited for me or not, or will wait for me. I don’t know whether my existence really matters for anyone or whether it really make any difference for anyone. I think I smiled. Strange feeling, when you realize that you have no one in this world who cares for you. The smile became wider.

Even in this darkness, thousands of pictures snapped around my eyes like a slide show. All known acquaintances, friends, families and so on, some made me smile, some made be frown, some angry, some sad and many many more feelings. But I didn’t stopped for anyone, they are all the same, may be just had different features, and different names. It hardly mattered, but then her picture came, I paused. Is she also the same? The question resonated again and again …

It was difficult for me to keep looking at her picture in the darkness. Her picture slowly vanished in front of me, I could not help. I realized she can’t bring brightness in my life and blow the darkness around me.

May be she is just like any other person in my life. May be she is just a normal person…

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