I looked at her eyes, and calmly said “Ask yourself the question – Am I really just a friend?”
“What is there to ask, of course you are my friend” she said
“Okay let me rephrase my question. Why do you need a friend? You need a friend when you feel you lack something and when you think that a particular friend can fulfill that need, you make friendship. Now my question to you is – if you already have a boyfriend, then why do you need a friend? What else is there that you require from your friend?” I said and smiled looking at her
“Just because I am talking to you does not mean that my boy friend is lacking something or that I need something. It just that talking to you is interesting and a good way to spend my time” she said
“But that’s a selfish view. You are just thinking about yourself and from your angle only. You have to also look into my perspective and as to what am I looking for in the relationship”, I said
“Friendship is not exactly a relationship. When you are just friend with someone, you are just a friend, you don’t follow any sort of expectations as such. You are just free to do whatever you want with you friend. You can go with them somewhere, eat, talk etc. but you don’t’ force nor you expect that you will keep doing it again and again” She said raising her hand in the sky to show her frustrations
I asked immediately “Can something really exist between two human being without expectations?”
“Yes it can, until and unless you are sick and have pervert mentality through which you see everything for some purpose or expectations. Why can’t you just take everything lightly and just enjoy life” she answered with maturity
“I do enjoy life. But I do have a different perspective of enjoying life. All that I do is clarify everything about my relations. For me, there is nothing like friendship, there is just a relation for fulfilling some need. If I am with you, then I need something, that’s it” I smiled looking at her.
“See I was right, you are really sick. You are selfish. You are with people just because you have some intentions. I don’t believe in that. I don’t think we are into a relation just because we need something in return. Relationships can be pure and without expectations also. Like my friendship with you.” she enacted to show she believed in that statement
I asked her “Are you sure about that? Can you really touch your heart and tell me that you don’t expect anything from me”
“Yes I am sure. I know why I am with you” she looked at me and smiled.
“Then why are you spending time with me? As far as I think whatever time you have, you should spend it with your boyfriend. Isn’t it?” I quizzed
She looked confused and said “That’s not necessary. I also have a life. Just because I have a boyfriend does not mean that I will be with him all the time and there is nothing else in the world.”
“What else is there is the world? Do you really anything else in the world when you have the true love with you?” I kept my turf
She thought for a while and said “Of course I need. I like to meet people, like talking to interesting people, spend some time in good company and so on. These are things which makes I person I am right now. My boyfriend is just one part of it, and an important part though”
“I don’t believe in that. The more people you have in your life, the intimacy to each one of them keeps reducing. So the time that you are giving it to other is definitely reducing the time which you can spend with him. So it shows that you don’t want to spend the whole time with him. You have many things in life which you don’t want to share in life or want to enjoy together with him. And that is not clearly a perfect love.” I quickly said as if I was waiting for that.
“It’s not like that. How can you be so sure of that. I don’t need anything from you as I have already told you?” She asked me
“If you don’t need anything from me, then why are you even making an effort to convince me of that? You should have bothered as to what I think, isnt’ it?” I said and smiled looking straight into her eyes.
“I just don’t want to loose your friendship. I like talking to you but I don’t want any misunderstanding about expectations and feeling etc.” She said without looking into my eyes.
“May be somewhere you yourself are not clear as to what you are doing with me. I know and as I told you I need special attention and appreciation from you. I am not saying that I want love from you. But I expect you to be available when I want. I expect you to reciprocate my feelings. I expect you to share your feelings with me and so on” I said as if I won the battle
“Some people will term it as love” she immediately replied
“Well, I don’t term it as love, that’s my definition of friendship. In my definition I am sure of what I expect from you and what you should expect from me” I smiled again
“That’s a give and take kind of thing. Human relations are not so well defined or they work on conditions.” She looked confused and irritated by my questions
“No, We think we don’t work like that. I want clarity because I want you to know and understand my feelings for you. I can’t simply hide them and act as if I am just a friend and I don’t feel anything else. That’s lying.” I kept looking into her eyes
“Ok ok .. why are we fighting .. life is too short…come let’s go for a coffee” she said and pulled my hand
I smiled and obeyed her command.
“Sometimes without giving answers, people do give the answers !!!
Sometimes giving answers, people don’t give the answers !!!
Sometime you don’t want to hear the answers
Sometimes you don’t wait for the answers
Sometimes things are without answers.”