I started counting from 100 and went downwards .. 99.. 98 .. 97.. 96.. 95.. 94.. 93..92..91..90
My friends face came in front of me. He was smiling.
“How can you still smile?” I asked him.
“What is there to cry?” he said and smiled again
“But your wife left you. What are you planning to do now?” I started my inquiry.
“Nothing. Life goes on. I can’t sit here and resent on the decision that we both took together. Anyway it was getting difficult for both of us. It was getting difficult to breathe you know. But I am happy now”, he said casually.
“How did it happened?” I kept my questioning rounds.
“It was to happen one day. I was too stuck with my job and career, she too stuck with her job and career. We never had time for each other. I needed care and love, she never had time for that. So I started looking somewhere else. It was as simple as that” he was still casual as if nothing big has happened.
“What about talking and trying to solve the issue”, I asked, still not able to understand the situation
“What is there to solve? Just see where we have landed ourselves. I mean everything is essential now, this luxuries of life, this money, this car … I need this, she need this. Emotions can take a back seat for the time being”, he said with a big laugh.
“But, what about the future? How are you going to stay single and alone in your old age? I asked again
“Who cares? Its just a matter of time. And why should I even worry about the future. Let me first enjoy my present time. And who knows, may be I will get a better life partner than her”, he again made a casual remark. The way he make his face, I hated his body language
“What about love, feelings, etc.?” still I asked.
“Nothing exists. And it’s not that we don’t fall in love twice or don’t feel for any other person if we are in relationship with someone. May be we hide it or cover it. But it is always there. Whatever I felt for her was for her, but I will feel a new way with someone else. So I will have a new life with someone else” he said
“Is it so easy? I mean to end up everything with one person and to start a new one with another so soon”, I was still not convinced.
“May be it’s not. But who has the time to cry for what has happened. I don’t have and I am sure most of us don’t have. Whatever was to happen has already happened. Why should I even think about that now? It’s not that I didn’t try to make things better. I did but certain things can’t be changed. I wanted to be independent in certain things and she wanted her own privacy. So, finally nothing materialized and best option was to go apart. ” this time he replied with seriousness
“I am not sure about this. Both of us wanted to have your independence, I can understand that. Both of you had different responsibilities, jobs, friends etc. But you still had something which was common to both of you. I mean at the end of the day you both come to a house expecting that someone will be there for you. Atleast to ask you how was your day. Someone to take care of you”, I said as I needed some more explanations.
“That’s what I said. No one was there. Whenever I needed her, she was not there. And I too could not be there when she needed me. Both of us were not in fault, it’s just circumstances that we could not stay together. We were not made for each other”, he sounded so confident.
“But, that will be the story for each one you choose to be your life partner. She will also work somewhere and you will face the same problem”, I asked
“It may be or may not be. It all depends on priorities. If the priority is working, career, job, money, then definitely I will face the same problem. But if the priority is relation, emotions, life then things will be different.”, he remarked
“Why should only she sacrifice for you? You also need to take step, you also need to change your priorities”
I said as I got irritated by his remarks.
“We can’t. The situation right now does not allow us. How can we survive in this world without working? Without earning decent money? What about our life style? And if I seriously work, then definitely I will not get any time for my family. Either she sacrifice or I do, doesn’t matter, but one has to do surely” he made an effort to make me understand.
“But there has to be a way out. This can’t be the end of world for you”, I said as I believed there should be a solution to all this.
“It is not. All I need to do is not to worry about such things. I go my way, she goes her way. It is as simple as that. For the new life, if I get someone who is ready to sacrifice everything and stay with me, I am willing to have a relationship. And I am sure I will get someone” He said and raised his both hands in frustration.
“You are sounding like a male chauvinist”, I immediately made the comment
“I am sounding like that, but that’s the reality. We can’t have win-win situation here. We can’t afford to be romeo-juliet here. We have to survive, fight our battles, win them, loose them, and just go on. If we just sit and think about what’s going on around us. We will be no where. There are some question, of which, there are no answer. And it would be best not to think about them and just leave them like that”, he made his face again, and irritated me and continued “Everyone wants to be happy here. I too want to be happy here. If I keep crying over the harsh reality and cruelty of life, then definitely I will never be happy. So, that’s how I am, and now I am happy”
Many questions kept resonating in my mind. Many question which had no answers.
I again started my counting backwards from 100 … 99.. 98..97..96..95…94…
Why am I thinking about all this things, when I also want to be happy ?