the blue envelope

index 1As soon I as parked my car I felt bad, I realized the time has come to go apart. She was sitting silently besides me. I looked at her. She was tense, seemed she was making her strong attempts to hide something like me.

“Come, lets take out your luggage” I said and got down from the car. She also followed silently.

I carried her two big bags to the Railway Station entrance. She followed with carrying her two small hand bags.

“Your train is coming at right time at platform 1. Good that we don’t have to carry the luggage far”, I smiled and looked at her

“It’s heavy, I know, two years of memory your know”, she looked sad

She was going to her home in Siliguri. We did our MBA together and ended it together. We became good friends and in fact very close friends. Whether it was something more than friendship? Well, don’t know. And I knew that today is the last day to find it out, whether it was something more than mere friendship. I knew I had to say something, otherwise she will go, go forever.

“Yes, I didn’t even realized how soon these two years went away” I said as I also felt sad.

“I am really thankful that I got you as my close friend along with others. Coming from far to this place, everything new, I was really scared. I don’t know how you all made it so perfectly normal for me” She at last looked at me and smiled.

The spark in those dreamy dark brown eyes, were good enough to die for. I wanted to go deep in them, look at them forever and ever after.

She must have noticed and probably felt awkward “Hello, dreamer, come back, what happened” I noticed she blushed a little. The pinkness in her cheek becomes stronger.

“Just became nostalgic. I will really miss these days, especially the bunking of classes, going to movies, evening walks etc.. I mean we had so many things to think of” I wanted to add more but stopped. She was looking somewhere else, and because of wind from somewhere a bunch of hair came over her face. It was such a lovely sight that I lost track of everything, her beauty was so natural, so pure. I wish I can draw her portrait like that.

“What about me? Will you miss me?” She gave a naughty smile and looked at me again with those dreamy eyes.

I was shocked, disturbed. What? I didn’t expected her to say something like that so directly. I paused for a while. Actually nothing came to my mind.

“just joking. I know you will miss me. And I will miss you too. It was all because of you that I could pass my MBA. Otherwise I would have ….. I don’t know. Especially the maths and statistics… oh my god. I don’t know why they keep such subjects in MBA” she giggled and tapped my hand and said “wait I will buy a water bottle”

How casually she said she will miss me? Is it so normal? Am I an old school of thought? Does she also feels the same way I do? Should I tell her that I love her? I kept on thinking.

The big train came near the platform and made all possible noise to disturb my thoughts. She also came rushing near me.

“Come, come, lets put the luggage in the compartment. Help me for the last time” she said and took her two small bags.

I followed with the heavy bags into the compartment. Once bags were placed and locked safely, we came down.

“So, time to go, isn’t it?” I said and immediately realized how bad I am in talking

“Yes, at last. Hey, any last thoughts or message you want to give me?” she patted on my right hand and said sportingly

It was awkward. It seemed she was giving me all the signals and like a fool I was not catching them. I still didn’t had the courage. I didn’t wanted to hear a ‘NO’.

“Well, nothing much, just all the best, take care and keep in touch” I could not see into her eyes. I felt my chest as getting heavier.

She came near me, with her soft hand touched my cheek and turned my face towards her. She looked straight into my eyes. There was love in those eyes. We kept looking at each other eyes for many seconds, it was the best ever moment in my whole life. I had never felt like this ever before. And I knew at that moment that she is going to be there inside my heart forever.

“Keep in touch, keep calling and keep texting okay, my shy shy boy” she broke the silence and twitched my nose.

I had no words to say. Did she meant she love me? Should I say her now that I love her?

The loud whistle of the train again brought me back to reality. She got up in the train and waved me.

“Bye bye, remember me always … I will miss you… take care okay” she shouted as the train started moving.

I kept looking at her. I wanted her image, her beauty, everything about her to stay with me forever. I didn’t even blink. I just kept looking at her and waving my hand. Soon she was invisible, and I was still standing there.

I could have proposed her. She said she will miss me. Then, she also love me, isn’t it? Or, may be she doesn’t love me, she just like me as a friend. I could have atleast said something?

I am really a fool. I am not a man at all. I can’t even propose a girl. I felt like beating myself. Anyway I came back to my car. As I opened the door, I saw a blue colored envelop in my driving seat.

Surprise? From where did it came? I took up the envelope and opened it. A greeting card came out. As I opened it I saw in big letter “I LOVE YOU” with her name written there.

She must have left it, when I asked her to follow me to the station. Oh my god… what to do … I started jumping holding the card and kissing it… I love you too… I love you thrice, I love you … I love you .. I started shouting….

I never knew what happened afterwards. I never met her again. I tried to get in touch with her by all means possible, but she just vaporized. And I could not trace her till date.

Did she just acknowledged my love for her or all that I did for her? Did she actually loved me? If she did loved me, then why she didn’t get in touch with me again? Is she still there?

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