The mobile started buzzing suddenly. I looked at the watch, it was 3:15 am. I smiled as I remembered something about 3.15am. Someone told me once that it’s the time when ghosts travel back to their houses, so we should not make noises as it may disturbed them. Maybe one of the ghost started using mobile and is checking on me.
Someone trying to invade my privacy, even if it’s a ghost, well…. not allowed, I thought. But can’t avoid this one…. I laughed as I saw her picture smiling over the phone.
“I read your new post just now. Why do you always write about all negative things, I mean all this darkness, loneliness etc.” she sounded fully awake at that hour.
“I just make an attempt to write whatever comes to my mind. I know I have written many post on darkness, feeling of devastations, loneliness etc. But, I also write about other things, which are not related to darkness or negativity”. I replied as softly as possible.
“But you always come back to that. Overall your blog gives an impression of negativity, including the dark color you used as the background” She again commented in the same line.
It surprised me, does the dark background color in my blog really reflects the darkness in me? I can’t agree with her, “Now c’mon, Background color? I didn’t even thought about it. I just liked the design”,
“That’s the point. Why do you even like it? May be the darker shades is all that matters. Soon people will think that it’s just a blog of a person who is left by his love and he has just got a platform to express his frustration. I am not sure how many people will be interested”
Her questions and suggestions scared me. Will it really happen? Are my readers really going to think like that? No, I don’t agree, so I remarked, “What are you saying? My blog is not like that. I have only few readers, but from their feedbacks, I don’t see them thinking the way you are suggesting”
“That’s how I see it. I mean who cares? There are hundreds and thousands of people who feel like this, shattered and left alone by their love. So, who wants to read the story of another frustrated person? Why are you just trying to establish yourself as a loser?” She continued airing her views with a serious tone.
These were serious statements. They were shaking all my thought process. I can’t agree to her so easily, without clearing all my doubts. I forwarded my argument, “No, no. I think you are misunderstanding me. I am just looking at one aspect of life; which has some strong emotion involved. Moreover, I don’t believe feeling shattered or lonely makes you a loser. That’s a wrong way of looking at it”
“May not be a loser, but life don’t wait for anything, it moves on. Everyone should move on rather than crying on what has happened in the past. Now don’t tell me that people don’t fall in love again or don’t adjust themselves to situations”, her argument seem justified.
“May be, but it’s just a perspective of looking at things. And everyone has a different perspective. Here, I am just trying to understand the emotional impact when a person is in such a situation. It’s just about being in love and then feel its absence in different ways. For some it is devastating, some feel darkness around them, some feel lonely, and some just prefer to stay with the old memories, and as you said some move ahead”, it sounded as if I was explaining things to myself rather than convincing her.
“If you are looking at different perspectives of the feeling of love, then why only the negative ones? Why don’t you write about the brighter or the positive sides?”