It had never been easy to say ‘BYE’… when you wanted things to go on and on, when you wanted to spend more and more time with her. When you know you had this understanding which can’t be defined, but can only be felt. When you know you had this unknown chemistry, which only god has an explanation of.But then also you had to say BYE.
Situation took a turn, as usual though, and made me realize that I don’t control this world nor I control her. She was like a dream who came like a cyclone with all its wrath, and with a force uprooted me from my stable easy going life. A bright sunshine, who always filled my mornings with vibrant colors, like the one of her ribbons which she used to tie her hairs. Her smiles had this contagious effect which goes deep inside me and makes my heart smile too. This happiness which she induces in me is unexplainable. But then also you had to say BYE.
I knew I felt strongly for her and I knew she felt it to. The most amazing thing with her is that I never had to think what to talk about, topics just flew like river. I spent hours and hours talking with her, about heaven and hell, rocket science and natural science, romance and hatred, love and relations, past and present, etc. etc. Time always lost its significance when I was with her.
Surprisingly I started understanding her silence too. We spent time in silence; she wanted to say a lot, I wanted to say a lot, but couldn’t find any words around. I felt this uneasy desire to see her, and she surprised me by granting my unsaid desires. I felt amazing when I had this desire inside me and held it back, waiting for something like volcanic eruptions to happen, when all the feelings, all the desires will comes out instantly. But still I had to say her BYE
The way she searched for me, I way I searched for her, felt like playing games. Neither she said it, nor I did, but both played this games of hiding and searching. I trying opportunity to see her, meet her, talk to her, and she doing the same. And sometimes we landed up in funny places meeting and talking to each other, but it was always fun.
Now she said she can’t talk to me. And of course she had explanations for that. But, neither she believed in those, nor did I. Suddenly from nowhere she comes and talks to me and then runs away apart. But whenever she runs away she leaves those imprints somewhere inside me, which becomes my inspiration to carry on. It’s like putting your footprints in a beach, you admire it from a distant apart, you don’t want it to get melt and disappear in the sea water, but it does. Those are just prints, they don’t stay forever no matter how hard we try. I don’t want her imprints to get washed. But, truth is she wants to be in her life and be the sunshine for someone else.
I build up strong walls around her imprints and I know sea waves are not strong enough to break this walls and wash away her imprints. The only problem was that I built the walls so strong that the imprints are no longer visible to anyone from outside including her. I kept them in a safe place, a hidden place inside me.
A treasure not to be seen or wanting appreciation from anyone not even her. For her, I just said BYE.