I, the beast

indexThe only thing I learned in life is that there are many things which are not under our control. Sometimes we put everything into something, but the results come totally different than what we expect. We never had any explanation for that. It just happens, and may be this is called as destiny.

And this is what I fear, this darkness inside me, caused by the scare for failures.

I did everything possible for her. And I had limitations, she knew it. But she never understood it. That was okay, as I am the one who created this movie, I am the one who wanted to be a Hero. It was a movie, a nice movie, if I may say so. But the only difference was that, I could not write the ending. She decided to write the ending in her own way. And I did realized that there are certain things which are not under my control, especially when the movie has other co-stars. I end my movies with a fashion, a style in which I always try to make the hero feel like a hero and end like a hero. But not this time, this time this Hero wants to hide himself, he is weak, fragile, emotional. This is first time that the Hero is being tested for his patience, his maturity, and his emotions, his strength. The heroine in this movie has grown to have a stronger character than the hero.

But, How can I let this happen? How, can the Hero in my movie become weak and emotional? No way, I had to do something, I had to show him as a strong one. No matter how he feels, how weak his emotions are. I don’t care also if his soul dies inside him. But he has to come up as a hero. He cannot let a heroine lead his emotions or life. This does sounds tough and rough. But, now there is no option. I had to project my hero as someone who is able to control his emotions, who is strong enough to control his desires, strong enough to control the brightness that comes to him when he sees her, strong enough to control his smile when he sees her.

I have to let this darkness inside him to take over. I know this darkness, the scare of failure will awaken the very beast which is dormant inside my hero. And he is strong, he has to be strong, I know. And once this beast of darkness will take over my hero, he will be in control. No matter how emotional, weak or fragile my hero is, the beast will take control and overpower everything and turn him to a strong, unemotional, cruel, overpowering hero.

Yes, now I am happy. May be this time also, the ending to the movie will be according to what I wish for. May be the cruel beast will at last make my hero, the real hero. I just wish, the Hero had not awakened the beast and the Heroine had understood him ….

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