Few days back I heard a speaker saying “Life is all about journey from B to D. The B stands for birth, and we never have any control in our birth, whether we become a girl or a boy, whether we are born to a wealthy family or a poor one, we don’t control it.
And similarly D which stands for Death is beyond our control. When we die, how we die, we don’t decide. But both of these happens, no matter what we want. And in between B and D we had the C – choice factor. The only thing we have in control is C – the choices that we make while moving from our birth to death. And it’s our choice which makes us successful in life”
That was my food for thought. It is the ‘C’, the choice factor that bothered me. Are choices really under our control? Can we really make our choices or they also are written somewhere already? And how do I know whether the choices that I made are the perfect ones, and there are no better ones to it? What if I had made another choice?
Now, how do we make choices. I saw three bottles of cold drink. Coke, Pepsi and Sprite. I choose Coke, as I like the taste. I know Pepsi is too sweet and Sprite does not have cola taste to it. The basic point of making choice is comparison. And for comparison we need options. Based on our experience, our knowledge, others suggestions etc. we evaluate these options and make our choices. Are choices in life so easy? If my life is coke, how can I assume my life as Pepsi and Sprite, and how I will know it’s taste? We probably use our knowledge, our experience and other suggestions to evaluate our life as Pepsi or as Sprite and we decide. But every individual has his or her own priorities, we may not be satisfied or convinced with the same sort of things. And our priorities keep changing. Then, how do we decide on our choices and compare our options.
After passing class XII, I had three options, study engineering, study medical or be a normal arts or science graduate and become a management professional. I choose Engineering as I liked mathematics. But, the difference in this choice is I don’t know what would have happened had I choosen medical or a normal graduation. Wouldn’t it be better to make choices, had I meet ‘ME’ as an engineer, a doctor or a graduate turned management professional and at 45 yrs age. Say I met them as –
- A doctor – people know me, lots of patients, lots of money, busy schedule, not much time for family, lots of assets, suffering diabetes, lots of people around to help, no time to think about myself
- An Engineer – gone abroad, lots of money, nice challenging jobs, professional people around, not many people know me, blood pressure high, sufficient time for family, lots of fun and travelling, facing competition and fear of losing job all the time.
- A Management professional – worked up the corporate ladder, no place for emotions, too much competition, depression and pressure high, no time for family, lots of money, fun and travelling, no time for people around
Now, which of these life is better? I don’t know? It depends on my priority. But, my priority at the time when I had to make the choices of these lives was different and my priority at 45 yrs will be different. So, how I do know I will have a happy and satisfactory life at 45, depending on my decision at 15. No one can live all the lives at the same time and decide which ones is better? So, do we really have choices in our hand? Or we start convincing ourselves that whatever our life is, whatever we have is sufficient and we are happy in that? Don’t we accept our decisions and try to convince ourselves that whatever it is we have to face it.
There are definitely some moments in one’s life where we make choices, choices which changes our life, choices which changes our relationships, our happiness. And at decision that we take we create another life. And we really don’t know what happened to the other life that we created. It is as simple as choosing one girl to marry, when we get two proposals. We choose the one which suites the best at that time. We don’t realize what would happen after 30 years. Even when we realize what would happen after 30 years, that’s not guaranteed. As people change, situation changes. So, we go ahead with what we feel is right. Now, what happened had you married the second girl instead. That’s another life. Now, what if you meet this another life person after some years and realize that was a better decision, as he seems to have a better life. But, that’s also you, isn’t it? If I am creating ‘ME’ every moment I am taking decisions, I don’t have to know which ME is better. As all these are part of ME. Each decision is just an experience. I am just creating options. And yes, I can meet these options, if I try hard. And that’s true life. All ME that I created are somewhere in this universe. Maybe, one of ME is looking at me and getting happy as I have a better life than him.
The truth is there is no better or worse choice. I just choose one option. The other ME will have the other option, that’s my other life. But, that’s me only. So why to worry? And in the end I never knew which one is the true ME.
Now, question is the C-factor? So in reality, we never had options to choose from as we don’t know what we have for us in future. We just assume certain things based on our experience, our knowledge and taking suggestions from others. The real choice will be when we know exactly what is going to happen in our life and we select the best one possible according to our priority. Don’t we just do it, thinking that that’s the best possible option we have right now, when in true sense we don’t even know what the other option has to offer in future.
So, is the ‘C’ really is our hand? You decide?