the cruel me

Yes, it’s nehealthy-bird-cages-birdver easy. Never easy to avoid or hide feelings.

Every normal human being has feelings. We feel in some way or the other for people near us. But are we independent enough to express all kinds of feelings to others. No, we’re not.

Sometimes it’s just not possible to express ourselves, especially when we realize that expressing our feelings is going to harm more than doing anything better. Well, how does anyone decide who is the best – ‘one who always cared but didn’t said’ Or ‘the one who cared and said but made the life miserable for everyone around’.

Not expressing our feelings but expecting other people to show their feelings, some people may call it cruel or selfish. But is it? Are we really selfish if we don’t express our feelings to do what is best for others? Don’t we ourselves become selfish when we look at that person in our own personal agenda?

All that is required here is a high level of understanding, where words don’t speak, heart speaks, eyes speaks. Many times we don’t find words to express what we feel. But we feel it. And our heart and mind knows it. So how do we express them? How the other person feels it? Well, that is understanding. But we don’t trust that, we are scared. We don’t believe in miracles of true feelings. We start putting boundaries, limitations around our loved so that they don’t leave us. We become selfish. It’s not that we don’t love our pet birds, we do, but we still put it in a cage. We are scared that if we keep it open, it will fly away, and never come back to us. We become selfish.

These things which otherwise sound so complex, turns out to be very simple, if we are true to our feelings. All we have to do is do what we want at that particular moment. But instead, if we try to find an explanation of other person behavior in relation to our own behavior or start trying to please someone, act according to others wish, then probably we are not true to our feelings. If we are not true to ourself, how can we be true to others.

Had it been Himalaya it would have been easier to live a life at the fullest. Express whatever you want to. But here in this normal world thing does not seems to be so simple and perfect. People get entangled in unknown scenarios, unexplained feelings, whether they want it or not. And it becomes difficult to survive and express our feelings or what we want.

And then the fake ones comes out. The selfish, untrue, immature feelings takes over. We become obsessive, possessive, cruel inside. And the world becomes a bitter place to leave on. But, we are just part of this world.

And yes, I am cruel, I am selfish.

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