her laughs

the pause was for long. Her thoughts were still resonating in my mind. Then I heard her laughs. More laughs. Why is she laughing so loud? Her laughs were creating ripples in my brain. I can’t bear it. I wanted to cover my ears. Her laughs were different. They were piercing my heart. Why, Why is she laughing so loud?

Why she even wants me to hear her laughs. She knows I can’t do anything. She knows I am stuck in this darkness. Then why is she laughing so loud here? Is she making a show off? Or just proving a point. Or just pretending to be happy? May be she is truly happy. Why should I even think about that. I know that I can never find an answer as to that what she is thinking. I had never known what she is thinking.

My head felt like bursting. I couldn’t stand it any further. Even in the darkness all around, I closed my eyes, covered my ears. I realized what she is doing. I realized she is doing exactly what I had feared the most. Yes, She’s laughing at me? I felt the pain in my heart. No, I don’t want to think about that. Let her laugh, let her laugh at me if she wants.

I know she had proved that she is a far more superior human being than what I am. And I had proved that I am just a normal human being, one with a caring heart, an emotional heart, a crying heart and a weak heart. Does that gives the right to laugh at me? No matter how hard I try to hide now, she knows me now. She knows what I pretended was all a fake. She knows all my emotions for her were all true and pure.

I covered my face with both my hands. I wanted to cry out loud. Is it necessary to have a cruel, uncaring heart to stay happy? Is there nothing which we can do at the most pure form? I could not stop tears. I wanted to dissolve myself in the darkness. I don’t want to see light now. I wanted all darkness around.

Was is not good enough that I cared for her?

I heard her laugh again….

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