love or no love? I do not seem to find the answer. Anyway, does it really matter. when I doing what I want to do right now. when I am happy in what I doing right now.
I got up, went up to her. Held her from behind. She turned her face. I looked at those eyes. I thought, Yes I am in Love. I had nothing else to define what I felt. The love, the dreams, the brightness, the mischief, the smile, her eyes showed all to me. Her mesmerizing, listen to my heart looks, was enough for me to make me fall in love again and again.
Is that love? when I just forget myself. get completely lost at something so beautiful. She saw that look in me, turned her face and started doing whatever she was doing. And softly said “Yes, it is love.” I thought, am I so predictable.
She continued, “Yes, it is love, but you cannot experience it. The moment you feel you are getting lost yourself in my eyes, you stop yourself.” Now, what was that? probably I thought it loud. Is she telling the truth. Do I really stop myself loosing myself to her eyes? Why do I do that if I do that at all ?
She turned fully now and looked straight into my eyes “You and your so called ego. The very you, which thinks that its not possible for you, YOU, to melt down to a girl. Your ego does not permit you that. So, instead of going further into my eyes, your brain, stops you, erects walls all around you. And then you are gone. You simply go away. And it becomes impossible to bring you back. It’s not that you don’t love me. But your walls are so strong that probably you will allow no one to even come near you, near the very soul, you think about so much. What you are trying is just giving an explanation or an excuse to run away. Your egoistic brain trying to convince your loving brain that you are not in love, that this is not right, that soulmates do not exist. All that you are trying to do is run away”
Is it possible that I am so very predictable. Of course she is wrong, I thought loud. I know I don’t have an ego problem. May be it’s just her ego, and it’s all explanation what she is trying to give it to herself. How can she even think that I am trying to run away from her. No, that’s wrong. I don’t have anything wrong with her. All I am trying is to give an explanation to my feelings. I am trying to understand the true meaning of life or soulmates.
I knew she was watching the crease that got created in my forehead, when I seriously think about something. I turned my face, before I become too too predictable. And just said “May be”