the other me

I saw the light nearing me. The light of my soul. Is it ?

A thought struck me. During my whole life time I learned learn, read, experience so many things. what is going to happen to these things when I die? Does it also dies with me ? But how can a thought die, how can a dream die? It stays somewhere, I knew it. Everything about me lies inside the soul. The very soul is me, my dreams, my thoughts, all. Can it simply die with my physical body? No, not possible. It stays in the galaxy. And I am sure my earlier life form soul is also there somewhere in the galaxy. Does it comes backs to life again?

But, is that all. Do I have only one soul? I create another me whenever I choose a path, as there are always different path than what I choose. I very moment I decided to stay on with her, I created another me, who didn’t stayed with her. How do I decide which one is real me, a more happy me, a more me. He probably also have a soul. He probably is also dreaming about something. Are our soulmates same? How can that be possible?

I wish I had the answers. I looked at her. She was singing in her soft voice and cooking something. I loved this, I thought. The purity in her voice, the purity in her face, makes me lovingly zealous. How can anyone be so clearer in thoughts and not worry about the real meaning of life? Is that a better life ? I again looked at, the wind made her soft hair fall over her face, she quietly removed it. An act which always made me crazy. She turned and smiled. She knew I was watching her. How?

I kept looking at her. She had her full attention is whatever she was doing. Do I really love her? How do I know that I really love her?

the soul

She took my hand into her hand and hugged me softly.  I closed my eyes, I felt her fingers moving in my hairs and caring me. It felt so good. Why all my worries go away when she does this ?

“You are again thinking too much” she said softly. It felt like a dream. Her voice was like a whisper.

“Your mind needs to settle down. Make him take rest” she kept her fingers caring my head and said softly “The body and mind are two different things. If you move to your bodily desires or need, you are never going to get peace. You will be in confusions.”

“What do you mean?” I said without opening my eyes. How can she even think that I am confused. I have achieved a higher form of life, and mere bodily desires can’t make be confused. But I wanted to probe further, “Ok, give me an example”.

“Okay”, I think she smiled, “when you touch water in winter and when you touch water in summer, is there a difference”

“of course, I feel the difference, my hand reacts in winter, but in summer I feel good”.

“But water is always the same” came her prompt reply, “Thats what, have you ever realised that may be it is all because of our perceptions. It is just our body reacting to something.”

I grinned “Isn’t that adding more confusions?” I looked at her. There was a calmness in her face. She was looking at some way far. Her eyes in deep thought. Is she talking about this calmness. Then she looked at me and smiled. So pure and calm. I again closed my eyes. I didnt wanted to lose this image of her.

She said “If our mind thinks that its the same water and does not allow the body to react, then probably we will not know the changes. The point here is can be allow our lives ups and downs, day-to-day chores, happiness or sadness to touch our mind, the very inner core of our existence, the soul”

I felt silent, I had nothing to say. Too many thoughts started revolving around me minds. “What is this” May be I thought loud. “I was thinking about soulmates, and now she is asking me about the real meaning of SOUL”.

I kept my eyes closed. Everything around me was getting silent. I felt myself driftly into a unknown darkness. Far away I seeing a bright light….

Tera Intezaar

Nigahein hamari bhi ab dukhti hain,

palke jhapakne se darti hain,

ke kahin tumhara hasin chehra na aakhon se na kho jaye,

Hamne to hazaro khuaishein ki, par dil ne sirf ek tamnna ki,

bas ek tera didar hoon jaye, ees pyase ko ek boond pani mil jayee,

yun to jeene ko har koi jeeta hain, saans lene ko har koi leta hain,

hum bhi sans le lete hain, par kasam khuda ki, har sans tumhare naam karte hain

duniya to hume choodh aage nikil gaee, hum to aaj bhi hain ruke wahi ke wahi,

aakhon mein ek khuwab liye, tutt-ti saanso ka sahara liye,

milne ka wada tumne kiya tha yaha aab chahe tufan aaye,

chahe barrish, ya aandhi, hame to maut bhi na diga payegi, dil ki ye aas mita payegi

waqt aa gaya hai faisle ka, sare jahan ko batanein ka, ke haan hame mohabat hai, mohabat hein, mohabat hein, tumse aur sirf tumse beintehan mohabat hain.

running away

“Are you trying to run away” she asked.

Am I ? Run from what and to where? I thought. But from which side of the brain; the logical, rational, social, educated side or the illogical, irrational, unsocial and uneducated side? Aren’t everyone always running from something. Some running for money, some running from guilt, some running from social norms, some from education, some from love, some from morality, some from ethics, some from care, some from relatives, some from responsibility, some from life and some from death.

Question is what am I running from, if I am running at all. May be I am running from answers. Answers to my questions of what is right and what is wrong. Answer to whether what I was doing is right or wrong. Answer to how should I explain my actions – in rational logical ways or irrational illogical ways. Answer to questions like how do I define love for someone. Answer to questions like Am I answerable to someone except myself ?