Emotions are running high. I can’t understand them. I feel like crying, but I can’t cry. I laugh big at small things and tears come out from my eyes. And I don’t understand them.
Standing in crowd, I feel I don’t know anyone. But where am I wrong, do I really know anyone ? Can I really really know anyone in my life time ? For that matter, Do I know myself ? Do I really really know myself ?
What is happening to me ? What am I trying to find? Answer for something. But again what something. I tried travelling through time and space. But, nothing, I could not meet myself. I tried, and tried. But failed. Just could not meet my future. I, in my future, was the best person who could have given me the perfect explanation of what I am looking for right now. But, could not get that also.
Time is changing fast for me. Many things are happening in my life. Some desired and intended, some undesired and unintended….
Whatever they are, they are shaking, shattering, breaking me apart. I am going to a place where I don’t see anything. Only darkness. I am loosing myself somewhere in this darkness.
I don’t understand why I was moving away from this world. I am here, but not here. I do things, but I forget that I did it. I hear things, but I forget what I heard. What am I thinking ? Where is my attention ? I don’t know. I am just lost.
Is it because, somewhere I have realized that I have the lost the battle of life? Is it because, I have realized that my existence in this world now has no real meaning ? Is it because, I have realized that it’s too late now for me to rise and shine ?